Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
