Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
