Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
