It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There's always time for handjobs
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
