I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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