I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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