well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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