yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
