fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
