Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
