There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
