I think im going to throw up on grandma
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
