her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
