my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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