I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
