You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You're like the curious george of whores
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
