I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
