remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
