OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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