wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
All the doctor said was why
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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