i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Blood and glitter go together right?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
