Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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