Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
