Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
