i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
