Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
