pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
