i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize