just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
