Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
