He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
