question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
