maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize