We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
