So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
