There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I pour the whiskey from now on
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
