if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
