Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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