i permit you to call me
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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