it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
