I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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