guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
