Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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