I'm drive I can fine osifer
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
