I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
