There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
