she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
