she woke up with a sticky ear
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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