and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
do nipples grow back?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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