Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
