y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
