You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
