i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
