My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
