Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
