i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
