does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
