you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
