My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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