Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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