Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
