I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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