Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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