I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
