Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
