How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
